The Spousal Influence on existence

A lot has been said about the spousal influence on the possibility of the maximization of existence. This is a natural course of reasoning if one premises that everything we prefix with the “MY” is either an asset or liability—something that either aids or sabotages the cause. If this is the case, then the choice is of great importance as spouses are to be life partners. Perhaps the single most important decision after purpose is that of the partner with which the mission must be accomplished. As we all know, two heads are better than one and two people pushing the same cart in one direction provides an overall better output than one person. But this is only if they are in agreement of course.

From the man’s perspective, the woman is to be a helper (as far as Christian thought goes). But does that imply that the woman must not have aspirations of her own? Why then will God give the woman dreams too? So lets face it; the questions have not all been answered. People are often more attracted to the things of little value considering their own aspirations. Let me clarify that quickly before I send you on a trajectory of confusion. Some people have said that men are attracted to what they see, so they tend to want the most beautiful woman around and they may not be the best choice. Now if this is the case, then we have a problem. Even the most beautiful flower withers at some point. Women in this sense then become useless when they loose their glamour. Luckily beauty has also been said to lie in the eyes of the beholder. Is this really true that what is beautiful to one person may not be beautiful to another? This is also another problem to solve? Are the proponents saying that you and I can’t booth look at a Rolls Royce Phantom and agree on it’s beauty? Or is there a possibility that we can disagree on Joslyn Dumas’ hips as an outstanding work of God?

There are many more questions that need to be resolved in spite of the many we think we already have answers to. A friend told me recently that his idea of a good woman is one who is capable of taking initiatives. He gave 25% for looks, 25% for character and 50% for intellect. I thought that was interesting given my friend is a minister in training and hence very active in the church. But control my big mouth I did. Minutes later he came back with “well she also has to be spiritual” without stating what percentage that was to be. You may start worrying for his wife to be at this point. The truth is that we don’t always know what we want any more than what is good for us. A lot of the things men accuse women of are really human problems more than women problems. As a man I know from experience that my male friends have deserted me when I was down quicker than my female friends. The case is true the other way around. Perhaps instead of looking at the world through gender-filtered eyes we are better of looking at it through moral-filtered eyes. There are good people and not so good people—simple.

So lets admit it, we haven’t got all figured out. Not even us ministers. One thing is for sure, the person you choose to carry out your quest for maximization of your existence with must help your cause or you can forget it. I don’t know what whether it is beauty or intellect you need and I am willing to wager that you don’t either. Whether you are male or female won’t matter much if you threw in the idea of shared aspirations. Partners at home and partners at work? Well…the term is life partner and life encapsulates all aspects of your existence. I believe this is the working model but what do I know, many times I failed to get it right myself. I can tell you one thing for sure, people change.

A lady friend who was desperately looking for marriage at some point, later described herself as a single mom by choice. Many women are resorting to having children for men they have no intention of marrying. Others think, they are safer sharing another woman’s husband. Hopefully, like me these issues confuse you enough to want to hear what mentor and seasoned counsellor C J Buckman and his team has to say at the WHY AM I STILL SINGLE summit on the 6^th and 7^th of November 2015/ The event is supported by Joy FM, Hitz FM and SPiD-UP.COM and you my friend, are invited.