Stop playing the blame game

“It is the act of an ill-instructed man to blame others for his own bad condition; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed, to lay the blame on himself; and of one whose instruction is completed, neither to blame another, nor himself” Epictetus, The Enchiridion.

I have this uncle who blames everything on everybody and every living creature. He takes every opportunity to blame his wife, children, siblings and everything in sight for his woes. He has been imprisoned thrice in his lifetime and still less than fifty years old. He has been placed in police counter-backs not less than a one hundred times. If the Guinness World Book of Records recognized such feats, this uncle I’m referring to would be considered a superstar.

He has been embarrassed times without number in the presence of his wife and kids by all kinds of people, young and old, for duping them of huge sums of money under the pretense of providing them accommodation. This man is only fourty-five years of age, with one wife and four children, the oldest being seventeen years of age and the youngest only two.

He is a lover of alcohol, an addict actually. He gives his relatives sleepless nights from raining curses, insults and everything in-between. If you lived six houses away, you could hear his voice, swearing by heaven and earth; by his dead parents and by every single thing in sight. This daily act of his continues till past midnight. He blames everybody and everything including mosquitoes for only God knows why. This is the posture and attitude of many of us.

We are not ready to confront our fears for fear of failure, but are quick to blame everything and everybody. We try very hard to hide our inefficiencies by being loud and blame our shortfalls on others, including unseen spirits. Many ladies today blame their failed relationships on men and vice versa, without spending time to identify the cracks in their virtues leading to the often avoidable separations. You spend to the last dowry the resources of all the men you have dated, yet do not understand why your relationships do not last. An inflated ego clouds one’s perception of his true state.

We are quick to blame others for our woes, an action which is often an attempt to hide our insecurities and silent hidden fears. Fear eats up its victims from the inside and prevents him from pursuing those things that matter most. The good news however is that we can be liberated if we begin to believe that change is first and foremost internal before it reflects externally.

For instance, you can never overcome your fear of meeting people if you think that everybody you meet thinks ill of you. You will never be able to able to succeed in business if you continue to blame the woes of the economy on the rich while holding on to the perception that all successful people attained it through spiritual and or dishonest means (a notion widely held among many people in many parts of Africa). Success is the result of a combination of factors including hard work, identifying and grabbing opportunities, persistence and consistence among others.

Even in the game of sports, some people blame their team’s loss on the referee, the weather, even unseen forces et cetera. How pathetic!

A Chinese proverb says ‘the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the second best time is now’. My friend, forget the bullshit and crap excuses lazy people preach all over the place, rather, push your ambitions forward by taking a step today. Leave the naysayers behind, those who complain never amount to nothing. Those who blame everything on everybody are not ready to take on the world, as all they are doing actually is to scamper around nothing.

Stay focused, take the bull by the horn, be honest with yourself and let go all the distractions in your mind, pursue the things that matter most to you with all innermost desire.

Remember, victory may be like a hesitant woman but with persistence, you will woo her to your side. Make it happen! Refuse to die!!!